To all the bitchy, difficult, irresponsible girls who dare to set and enforce boundaries:
Setting healthy boundaries is one of the main ingredients in having and maintaining a balanced emotionally healthy life. No matter who we are, there are lines that people around us cannot cross. Wishes that others must respect. There are times we must say no. There are people that, no matter how much we love them, we must love ourselves more, and push back if what they are doing causes us un-Peace.
Setting and maintaining those boundaries is imperative. We must take care of ourselves emotionally…because of we don’t who else will? But setting and enforcing those boundaries will also get you something else ladies – you will be called bitchy, difficult, angry and even irresponsible.
I have long said that what brings you Peace, will also bring you happiness – True happiness – the kind that you feel from your soul to your bones to the tips of your teeth kind of happiness. This is because there can be no true happiness if there is constant turmoil and drama. There can be no true happiness without Peace. And even those who say they love us very much can make you very unhappy and your life un-Peaceful.
In this year of 2014, the 411st year of my life, I have passionately decided that I will only have those who bring me Peace and harmony in my life. Those who cause drama, unrest and turmoil…will simply be out. If someone causes me un-peace, that doesn’t make them a bad person, it just means that they are not a good person to have around me.
Since I have become stern in my enforcement of healthy boundaries in my life, I have been accused of many things. And to all those with the accusations I proudly say – YES I AM…now get the Hell out. Why? Because if being healthy makes a woman an angry, difficult bitch…then sign me up and call me the president of the club.
When you enforce what is healthy for you and your life, when you stick to your guns and what brings you peace, and others criticize you for it – that is emotional bullying. And no one likes a bully. When I say that I want Peace, and some else’s need for whatever is more important than my Peace…that person is no longer healthy for me to have in my life. OK, No harm, no foul…until the bullying starts.
What is emotional bullying? Emotionally bullying is when you enforce what is good and healthy in your life, and the other person tries to put the blame on you, tries to make you feel guilty or refuses to take responsibility for their part, and instead tries to deflect on you. When they make you miserable for your decision to live a healthy life and enforcing healthy boundaries, out them. After all, if they didn’t want to be put out, then they should have respected your boundaries in the first place. Sound a little strong? Think of the consequences if you listen to them and let them convince you that you are wrong.
So ladies, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself emotionally. And don’t worry about those things that they say. You are not being selfish, angry or even difficult – you are being proactive and healthy for your own life. You are being the opposite of co-dependent. It is one your most basic human rights, to be allowed to be happy and have a Peaceful life. Let those bullies go somewhere else and pick on someone their own size…Find people who respect who you are and the limits you set – whether it’s for work, for relationships, for friendships for anything.