The Weight of It

We all have to do it, go at least once a year to the doctor for a general check-up. And every time I go, they do the usual thing – check breathing, pulse, blood pressure…and weight. Today was no different, except when I stepped on the scale, I saw something very surprising. 145. I now weigh 145lbs, the most I have ever weighed in my life! And for a small boned, 5’2” tall woman, that is a lot.

Everything is great and I am healthy, so the doctor and I talked of the changed in weight. Well, it could be the heavy amount of stress that I have been under. It could be that I have not exercised in about 6 months and have been a couch potato. It could be that I turned 40, and according to everyone, a woman’s metabolism slows down at that age.

And I know I should be upset about the weight gain – 20lbs in about 6 months. But I am not. I have actually been fascinated by my body and the way it looks. The round belly, the fuller hips, and my boobs!  Wow. I have cleavage. My face is fuller and I like the way my hands look when they are resting on my hips.

I Feel very…womanly. And while I do need to make an effort to get back on the treadmill, because my fat pants are tight and the muffin top is laughing at me…I just can’t be upset. Maybe that comes with age, maybe it is just being comfortable in your own skin and just not giving a flying hoot. Maybe it is truly accepting yourself and not having time to be bothered with insecurities.

I don’t know. But I do know that while I will enjoy being able to fit in my favorite clothes again, I will miss the voluptuousness that comes with the pounds. I feel sexy, I am a woman and I have the hips, buns, thighs and boobs to prove it.

As long as your heart is happy and your soul is in tact, that’s what’s important. In the big picture, when you look at the weight of it all, those are the things that matter.

Speak to me

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