House Gremlins Part II

Again the House Gremlins are back.  And this time, it’s personal.  At first I thought it might be my cats who were responsible for all the little things going wrong around my house…then I realized they don’t have opposable thumbs, and thus could not actually do much other than run in front of me as I try to make it down the stairs in the morning before coffee. Little things in my house keep going wrong.

Last night while cleaning my messy kitchen, the garbage disposal again stopped working. I did get to work again by a magic combination of the broom handle. cussing at it and praying. We shall see how long it lasts. I may just have to bite the bullet and get a new one, but I am putting that off as long as possible. I hate having to have my wonderful friends and landlords replace things. They have always done so without questions, but I still feel bad.

Then two of the three toilets are running…a marathon.  I can get them to stop, but it is very aggravating. They don’t run all the time, just when I am watching my favorite TV show, or reading and then notice that it has been running for the last 5 minutes.

Oh, and let’s not forget about the garage door. Again. This morning I was awakened by the sound of the garage truck…and realize I had not put the garbage out.  I ran, jumped into my cloth robe and quickly headed to the garage to get the garbage out to the curb. Except…the garage door would not open. Again. I pulled the little string thing that I could barely reach (because I am only 5’2″) and still nothing.  I grabbed the unidentified piece of it that fell on my car trying to figure out where it could go, and how I could get up that high…when I heard the garbage truck drive away…Oh-well, there is always next Friday.

Then there are the house projects that I need to do. I want to hang the dart board and will no doubt make a trip to Home Depot, looking very confused as I ask for help describing what I want to do, and answering their questions.   Planning to watch the rest of the Harry Potter films this weekend has me also wanting to hook up the surround sound.  Maybe they will have instructions online? My bed frame needs to be tightened, and eventually I want to also paint my bedroom (that will have to be after the first of the year though).

I am a very smart woman. I can do math in my head, am crazy good at research, am a gifted writer, and think very fast on my feet. But put me in front of something mechanical and I suddenly get a bad case of the blondes. I just have no clue. We all have to accept our own limitations. Not being technical and mechanical are mine. Also being clumsy. And having the worst sense of direction in the world…but I digress. I will either have to hire these projects done, or bribe someone to help me/do it for me.

Most people are familiar with the question If you could have any super-power, what would it be?  That’s easy – I would be Fix-it Woman, able to fix anything broken!  A magic monkey wrench and invisible set of pliers at my command, I could rule my world, one broken thing a time.

So in addition to watching movies and writing on Sunday, I will also be asking friends for recommendations on a handy-man or someone that would not mind spending a few hours getting his testosterone on and making a girl happy. (doesn’t fixing things for women make men feel good, strong, useful and manly?)

And as far as those house gremlins go, I must remember those two rules – never get them wet and NEVER feed them after midnight!


One thought on “House Gremlins Part II

  1. Yup, I am blessed to both be a writer and mechanically inclined. As for the garbage disposal, it is a builder grade cheapo most probably installed when the townhouse was built. It is designed to self destruct. As for the toilets running they most probably need new flush valves. Hanging the dart board should be simple. Go to Home Depot and ask them for a stud finder (might be good for future boyfriends as well Ha) and then put a nail in the stud with a hammer and hang your dart board.l Stud finders are wonderful inexpensive electronic devices that require no special training to use. If you don’t want to spend the money, you can take a hammer and tap softly on the wall until you hear a solid sound instead of a hollow sound and that is your stud. (BTW a stud is a 2X4 verticle board meant to be part of the wall holding up the roof)


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