We all have those moments where the light bulb just goes off. The “Ah-Ha” moment, so to speak. And when we have those moments, things get very clear and quiet. And even if you have a long way to go, you know the road to take and the path is obvious.
Over the last 6 months, I have dealt with: My father nearly dying 5 times and going through chemo for liver cancer and a procedure for liver disease. I have been taking care of my Mom and Dad, either at my house, or driving down to the compound. I lost a contract, then got a better one. I have supported my nephew, dealt with the crazy ex and legal issues. Then I dated the man who went back to his ex-wife, then the last man I dated who was (unknown to me) just divorced. And there are a few very personal events that will never make it on the blog.
With all of that in just six months, I have been doing actually pretty damn good. I am just completely overwhelmed. What do you do when you are overwhelmed? I have no idea. If I knew, I would probably not be overwhelmed.
When you feel overwhelmed, you are confused, defensive, insecure, clingy and reaching for anything to hold onto. You feel lost and broken hearted. You feel like you are drowning. But you are not, you are simply…overwhelmed.
I am not broken hearted over my last ex, though I do miss him. It has nothing to do with him, he just happened to be the last thing on the list, so he got the brunt of my being overwhelmed, bless his heart. It had absolutely nothing to do with him. Poor guy dated me during the absolute worst 6 months of my life.
So how do you fix it? I don’t know. Maybe you just get very clear and simplify. Start tossing anything that causes un-peace, unrest, or uncertainty. Get rid of all that is not stable or pleasing. I have to deal with enough of that.
So, I am just a girl, who has, in all accounts, a great life. I have a great job that I love, a great career, a great family, my father is going to be OK, once he gets this latest cancer removed, I have a great family, and great friends. I am just overwhelmed.
So I am moving forward, head held high, trying to figure it. I am letting it ride, not fighting the tide. Just get me a surf board…