The Goal Board

We all have those goals that we want to accomplish. We all have our little ways to keep those goals in  mind, in front of us. One of the ways that I keep motivated and keep my eye on the prize so to speak is to have a goal board.  One of my best friends and I started this several years ago. I would go to her house, we would have a few bottles glasses of wine and start pasting away at the goals, hopes and dreams we wanted for the upcoming year. And usually, everything on the board is accomplished by the end of the year.

And this is the traditionally the time when I look at such things and start planning for the next year.  Last year I did not make a goal board or really reflect on the year past because too many things were happening and I was trying to just keep up and keep my head above water in many ways. And this year has felt that way too. But no more.

The hard times are over, now it is just a task of reaching that balance which i seek.  A little bit of work, and it should come.  So tonight I started putting the goal board together. And so far it is looking good. I have many plans for the next year, many hopes, many dreams, many things that I want to accomplish and do.  And they will all be on the board.

Things like, i want to go zip lining again, as it was so much fun. I want to bake, knit. take a photography class (have to figure out where), I want to take a few weekend trips and one vacation, somewhere warm. I want to garden more this year, have pretty flowers blooming. I want to make new friends, have much laughter, stories that are told, funny moments, sweet moments, perfect moments. I want to make wonderful memories this year.

This is the 2nd year that I will not have anything about love and romance on the board.  I used to have a large part of the board dedicated to love, and then I noticed that while everything else seemed to work out and get done one the board, the love and romance section never did.  A friends response was, “Of course not, because that has to do with another person, everything else is just yourself.” So now, I stick to everything that is me.

But the truth is that I do want love, and everything that comes with it. I want long, slow kisses in the rain, and in the snow. Snuggles and movies on the couch, slow dances in the living room, or the kitchen, or even the grocery store (I do love going to the grocery shopping with whoever I am dating). I want hand holding and gazing in my eyes, all gooey. I want great pillow talk (because that’s the best) and lat night conversations. But mostly, I want to get to slowly get to know a good man. A man who is honest and has integrity. A great sense of humor, sarcastic, funny, dependable and stable, a good kisser, and great in bed too. (I want it all and yes I am worth it).

In addition to the personal goals I have of Grace, Wisdom and Patience, I am also working on being moire careful with my words.  I can be a bit cruel with words when i am upset or especially hurt. That is part of  what I am working on as well. When I am upset, hurt or mad, I really need to step away from the computer keyboard. Again that comes from defensiveness, insecurity and not wanting to be hurt again.

So as I complete the goal board in the next few days, I am excited about what the new year has to offer, and even what the resat of this year has to offer. The bad times are behind me now, so now it is just a matter of getting my feet under me emotionally. It’s just a matter of getting a pumpkin and carving it. Just a matter of baking wonderful warm, baking goodies for friends. just a matter of laughter, wine, friends and enjoying sitting by a fireplace.  It is jut a matter of enjoying the best that life has to offer.

Because happiness is a decision. And I am deciding that I will have a great, wonderful, amazing rest of the year…and beyond.




10 thoughts on “The Goal Board

  1. Ada, inside every grown man is a little boy whose feelings are crushed when the woman he cares about says hate hurtful words. We don’t usually let you know how hurt we are because society has conditioned us not to show these feelings of vulnerability, but believe me, our feelings are every bit as sensitive as yours. Just saying


    1. adalamar

      What about when the guy really does something wrong, like lies about something inportant or such? How is the best way to handle that kind of situation?


  2. Good question. You can say that you are very disappointed in him that what he did makes you mad, hurt and upset. You can say that you deserve
    .better than that and when it is bad enough you break up with him and tell him that you are breaking up with him because of what he did to you.


    1. adalamar

      Very good. I ma learning how to do things properly after having a hellavayear. Pressing reset and getting back to the healthiest way to handle things is important. BTW, how are things with you and your girlfriend?


  3. Well not so good, we are best friends but no longer lovers. She has had two really bad husbands and one who is intent on getting his revenge on her for divorcing him by killing her and her adult son. She is so burnt that she just can’t be in a relationship until this guy is dead. He is a real sociopath similar to your ex. She is shaken to the core. Fortunately he probably won’t be long for this world, he has uncontrolled diabetes, two heart attacks and severe sleep apnia for which he has to be on a nighly C Pap machine.

    It is too bad because she is a real quality lady like yourself and we get along great. The sex was good while it lasted and we are no longer sleeping in the same bedroom. She is very supportive of the book and I get along well with her adult son who is unemployed thanks to the economy. He was a tile setter and thanks to Obama’s economy there is no work. It is sad for me because I really saw a future for us.


    1. adalamar

      I’m sorry to hear that John. I was hoping it would work out for the two of you. At least you guys are friends now, even if you can’t be lovers. And it’s good that she is supportive of the book. Honestly, I would love a male roommate that I could just be good friends with. I am looking for companionship and not sex, so even though it is not what you wanted, be thankful for what it is. And be thankful that you guys can still be friends.

      And so sorry to hear about the crazy ex she has to deal with. It is hard to be in a relationship with all that going on, I tried, I know. It does leave you exhausted with nothing to give. Tired, afraid, emotionally exhausted. Hang in there and give it some time, you never know what might happen.

      It could be worse…My most recent ex and I are not friends. After he lied about how long he was divorced…he sent me a scathing email when I said we would have to have a conversation about it before being friends. One of my best friends introduced us. He and my ex are cousins, but very close, just like brothers. I feel bad for my friend, because now my ex is avoiding talking to him and it has bothered my friend really bad. He feels bad for introducing us because my ex behaved so bad and my friend has no explanation for it at all. And he is worried about his”brother”

      Jerry Springer is going to call me, I just know it…


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