My sister came up today and gave me the news. My father needs a liver transplant or he will die. He has some time, and there is still much research to be done. We think that may be the best way to go, but there are still decisions to be made. She thought I already knew, so she just said it, rather plane spoken and realized when she saw my eyes widen. But really, when getting news like that it is best to just know straight away. No sugar please.

And so it is. And when I talked to my dear, sweet father, hearing his voice brought me to tears. We will talk more about it when I come down next. And memories of my childhood and growing up float through my mind, like dandelions in the wind. Him reading my first fairy tale, his funny poems he would tell me, the cute nicknames he gave me through out the years, and being the CBFIC (email me to find out what that is). I am and will always be a Daddy’s Girl.

This is so much different from when Mom was sick 11 years ago. And just as hard, if not harder


The news of my father has my heart very heavy, and makes the other issues I face every day seem so small in comparison. But we must not forget our everyday selves in the face of larger problems. It is the every day that we find beauty and joy.

Today my car gave out…the clutch. I drive a stick shift and I love it. And today, right as I got into a busy turn lane, I felt a pop when I pushed the clutch. And the clutch was no more. I coasted to the side of the lane, as far over as I could and waited for the tow truck. The tow ended up being less expensive than they said, he got me home faster than I thought, and this man named Yuri could have been a model. I am not kidding. Or a male stripper. I half way expected him to break out in a dance when he was unhooking  my car…and believe me I was looking to my $1 bills. I settled for a handshake and a business card.

The next thing to do was to call my next door neighbor. He is e mechanic and no doubt he could fix whatever was wrong with my car. About 45 minutes later, he was done. A smile was all he charged. we are neighbors he said, we look out for each other. I have the best neighbors in the world. And the best luck.

And my sister is here with me. We talk and cry and laugh. We tell each other funny stories and thoughts. And it will be wonderful to have her here for the next few days.

And somehow, even in the worry, my heart feels just a little lighter, in the candlelit dawn of every day beauty.



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