This week has been a difficult, one. My father being sick and close to death again. A friends suicide attempt. I have not been sleeping, not exercising, not feeling well at all. I have been forgetful, ditzy even, in my motions through the week, clumsy in my expressions. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. And yet I feel like there is no room to complain. There have been blessings of my father getting better and being released from the hospital, a new lucrative project, several new freelance projects and friends being there for me, taking me out and making sure that I am OK.
When I heard my father’s voice on the phone last night I broke down and sobbed. From the deepest parts of me I wept, my body wrenching as the emotion came out of my body with the tears. It was release and relief. He was OK, his voice weak but wonderful. I was so frightened, so scared that I would loose him. That we would loose him. I just could not bear the thought, and I wept as he spoke.
And this weekend will be one of rest and comfort. I am driving down once again to the family compound. I want to be there for my mother, as she has had an even more exhausting week than I. Family is the most important thing in the world, and I need to make sure, I want to see for myself, that they are ok.
And yet in my exhaustion, there is optimism. Tomorrow is another day, and a chance for it to be perfect. There is optimism that next week will be good, and the week after that even better. There are many things in life right now that I know will improve, as the bad times are only temporary.
When it’s dark, God has us in the rock’s cleft, covered us with His hand. Dark may be the holiest ground: God’s passing by. – A Thousand Gifts
Indeed, if that quote is true, then this has been a holy week. And while I am thankful for all the miracles that have kept my family and loved ones safe, I pray for a better week to come. A week with light, laughter and good times. And I look up, and see the clouds breaking, and the sun shining through.