I was not looking for him. Then he stirred something deep within my soul that had been sleeping for years. And now that I have felt that again, I don’t want to settle for anything less with next the man, I can’t. 1996. I had forgotten what it felt like.
And I was vulnerable. For the first time in 7 years I completely let all walls down, completely gave of myself to another. I did not keep him at arms distance, I was not guarded and closed. And it was wonderful.
And I miss him. I don’t want to miss him but I do. And I wonder how he and his children are.
I felt love, I felt safe and protected with him. And for the first time in my entire life, I wanted to let someone take care of me. I trusted him implicitly.
Lonely does not bother me, I have been alone a long time. But I do wish to feel that way again. He made me realize also that I truly want to be a wife and mother. I had shut that off too. I pray that God gives me the opportunity. That is what I want with whom I next fall in love.