The treadmill and I have had a rocky relationship, I won’t lie. I frequently joke and call it the Dreadmill, because it sits in my garage taunting me. Most of the time. But recently The treadmill and I have gotten along quite well and, dare I say, even become friends. We have worked hard together over the last 6 weeks or so and now I can fit into my skinny pants. Yes, the treadmill has been there for me, through the winters when it was too cold to run, through the rain and most often, when it is dark and just not advisable for a girl to run at night. Yes, the Treadmill has always been there for me.
And now, my poor Treadmill is sick. It’s belt is slipping and not sitting right and it started making a strange scrapy sound when I was running on it tonight. So I adjusted the belt as I have done from time to time and the sound only got worse. And then the slipping started. And then the noise got worse. So I stopped adjusting it for fear of adjusting it to pieces.
And the workout stopped. Yes sometimes you just don’t know the value of something until it is gone. Now, for the sake of my skinny pants, I must either fix it, find someone who can fix it or find someone with a treadmill. I prefer the latter two choices, as it seems my original adjustments only made it worse.
The Happy Hum
As I sit in my office and type, the windows open, letting in all the fresh night spring air, listening to the sound of the washing machine, I have a feeling of contentment that comes over me. It is the contentment that can only come from a happy home.
And yet there is something missing. It is not a loneliness I feel, but rather something from a deeper place. It is the desire to share with another. I am in a good space, I have a great life but there is the desire to share it with someone and give of myself to something larger and more important than just me. I have prayed for it and now I wait. And sometimes waiting is the hardest part of praying, because it requires patience. While I am a patient woman, it is hard for me sometimes to not just charge in and make it happen. But somethings cannot be rushed, and some things are sweeter when you have to wait for them. For it is in the waiting that we truly recognize our desire.
I want a happy home filled with a happy man and the laughter of children and friends. Truly a home is a reflection of the warmth and love that is felt within the walls, and I want my home to be bursting with it. But I need more than just myself. And that is a lesson that has been hard for me to learn in life – I need more than just myself.
The honesty and simplicity of that statement is profound. I need others around me, to serve them, love them, to share with them, to give. I need to take care of others, and have the need for someone to take care of me as well, but only one man. And I am ready. I am ready to be vulnerable, ready to go first, ready to put it all on the line.
And from this readiness comes a joy and Peace that I have not felt before. And in this sacred season of Lent, as I am still and listen, it is that answer which I hear.