Get the Neg Out

It happened about 5 months ago, maybe 6. I started looking at the kinds of people I had in my life, and I was really not happy with what I saw.  Many of the people in my life were what I call ‘Paper people’. Paper people look good on paper, they have good steady jobs, they know all the right people, go to all the right places…but they are thin as paper too and have no depth. Suddenly I realized I was in the shallow end of pool as far as friends go, and that was not where I wanted to be. I really did some thinking, contemplated on what my values meant to me and how those values translated into friendships.

These shallow people, I discovered, valued gossip and being the first to have the inside scoop on a good story more than they did things like loyalty and integrity. So I slashed, slashed, slashed. I cut about 75% of my friends off. If they were negative, they got cut. If they were gossipy, they got cut, if they did not have the same values and views on life as I did, they got cut. I became rather judgmental and very picky.

And I have never been happier. What did I learn? That there is nothing wrong with being extremely picky with who you let into your life. When you let people with inferior standards in your inner circle, you pretty much let in the trash and leave yourself open for unnecessary drama and pain. When you get these people out of your life it makes space for wonderful, positive things.

And that is where I am now.  The people in my life are rock solid. And when you have people with solid values in your life, you have a much better chance of being happy, at least I think. So don’t be afraid to be picky, very picky. Because with any luck, your friends and your significant other are the people who will be in your life for a very long time.


6 thoughts on “Get the Neg Out

  1. Ada, I applaud your work in winnowing your “friends” field, in threshing the harvest, separating the wheat from the chaff! It is not as if you wish any harm to those you have winnowed out; it is just that you need to have only enriching folks with some real depth close to you in your life now. Hooray!


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