There is something I have that will come as no surprise. Actually, I have several of them. And that should come as no surprise either. And I think most people do, or maybe I just have a theory that they do. What am I talking about? Theories. Life Theories to be exact. These are the thoughts or truths, we have about life, that seem to hold true for us. I have written pretty extensively about my theories but never just in one place. So here are a collection of my most important theories about life:
The Little things: I have a theory that it is the little things in life that matter and that make us the most happy. This theory is based on the fact that the big moments in life are few and far between. So if we are waiting for those big moments…it’s going to be a long wait. But if we celebrate those wonderful little moments along the way. The beautiful day with perfect weather, when we hear our favorite song on the radio, seeing a sincere smile, someone holding our hand, a good meal, a good glass of wine, laughing with friends, sharing secrets, all those wonderful and delicious things that are around us every day. Noticing and celebrating them, that is the key to happiness.
The best things are always messy: Mud cakes when we were kids, a good greasy pizza, finger paints, paint ball, the rain, sex, life, love, friendships, family, philly cheese steak sandwiches, smores, silly string. Always wonderful. Always messy.
Stepping stones, Ball and Chains: Every one has bad things that happen to them, Every one gets hurt in life. No one is ammuned or comes out unscathed. And when those bad times and hurtful things happen you have a choice: To either use what happened as a stepping stone to raise above it, and grow. Or use them as a ball and chain to keep you down and wallowing. I have been a hurt in life. A lot. I have been broken-hearted many times, and cried a river of tears alone. But I will always chose to raise above those people or situations who hurt me, and I will never let them make me bitter. But that is a choice and each one of us must make it for ourselves.
Life Carves us Out: We have to, in our lifetime, deal with betrayal, lies, heartache and false friends. But in the end, those that try to harm us and hurt us only make us stronger. Better. And they hate that. The best revenge truly is simply being happy and living a fabulous life. And when you move on, happy and confident, it is your life returned to you. And each time we feel pain, we feel it a little deeper in our soul, until we are the beautiful, complex works of art we were meant to be. But life must carve out those deep spaces in us first.
Two halfs make a hole: It is a line made famous by Jerry Maguire, the you complete me line. It is a line, a line of BS. While it is sweet to think like this, if two incomplete people come together it will be nothing short of a disaster. This is because you must be a complete person yourself in order to love and accept love from others. You must find happiness within yourself first. Otherwise it is placing too must responsibility on the other person. To make someone else responsible for your happiness and wholeness is not fair. That does not mean you should not expect to be happy with the one you love, but rather, being with them should amplify the happiness yo feel within yourself.