One of the things I have learned in my very novice venture in photography is how to take a clear picture, especially when zooming in for a tight close shot. Seems like a very basic task, but one that is essential to learn for any photographer – professional or just having fun. To take any good shot, you must be able to take a clear picture. The subject must be in focus.
When you find a close shot that you want to take, sometimes we start out too close at first. We want to automatically zoom in, tight, to get that shot. Many times that works, but sometimes it takes a little more work. We have to re focus. I have found it very useful to zoom out, get a frame of the larger picture. Make sure that is indeed the shot that you want to take, and focus in from further away. This gives us ample perspective so we know how to approach the close shot. Then, with our new perspective, we can make adjustments as needed, zoom in for the perfect picture.
And it seems to work the same in life.Sometimes we are too close to get a good focus, we need to take a step back and reset. When we take a step back, we see the bigger picture and can truly tell of what we were focused on was the best in frame. For this reason I have been making it a priority to listen to my body, exercise when it says it needs to, get sleep and rest…which has been hard, rely on friends when I have bad moments, or bad dreams, to always know I can call my Mom and be comforted, even at odd hours of the night when that nightmare wakes me up and I cannot sleep. To spend time relaxing and watching TV with my cats purring, happy in my lap or jsut to share the couch.
My life has felt very piecemeal lately, very haphazard and chaotic and bizarre. Some days, I’m in one head space; other days, I’m off the charts in the other direction. I Am traveling a lot, visiting friends and family. And I am having a lot of company. In many ways it seems like my life is speeding up, yet sometimes it moves in slow motion.
And so I am doing, the best I can do in this fragmented state. I am taking a few steps back to re focus. To decide what is inportant enough apply the macro lens. I am focusing on work and my writing. Prepping the next phase of the book to give to the publisher. I am making it a priority to put fun plans on the calendar with my friends and to exercise at least three times a week. I am trying to date…or at least recognize that dating is a possibility in my life again. I am reminding myself to recognize, accept, and appreciate both the limits and the freedoms that come along with living my life.
And I am focusing in on those moment that remind me that life is more than the struggle that has existed the last few months. Those moments—like sitting around my old friend’s apartment drinking wine or riding, on horseback, through piles of crinkly, crackly leaves on a beautiful late Fall afternoon. Or stumbling into the family homestead, stressed and tired and receiving hugs and warm hellos and suddenly feeling so wonderfully happy and home; or swapping stories and laughs and stresses with my dearest friend, or walking the banks of the Chattahoochee and remembering all the long walks of years past; or driving home with my favorite song on the radio, and just enjoying that moment, and that is as it should be. Time marches on.
These moments, and countless others, have left me breathless, teary, overcome with elation and emotion and confusion and contentment and gratitude. Even if life feels all jumbled, I know if I focus hard, I can pinpoint and lean on these moments, these touchstones: my dear friends, my family, my loves.
No, I am not all in one piece these days. I am here, there, everywhere, and hovering someplace in between. Constancy in motion. And I refuse to apologize for that.
Because I am trying, I am oh so trying and I am giving my all, I am determined to devote my energies to capturing more of the moments, in close up, clear focus, looking for the points of connection, to weaving the threads of my old life, of this new life, of my heart, of this hopeful and tenacious self, back together again. Back into a clear picture.