I have never carved a pumpkin. So today, we set out to Burt’s Pumpkin Patch to find the perfect pumpkin. The drive was really wonderful. I forgot how much I enjoyed seeing the sunlight reflect off of the leaves, and this time of year it is truly beautiful. It was said to me once that I need to be closer to nature, that that is where I feel the most calm and centered. It is true. The forest, the country, the sun streaming through the colors and of gold and red leaves makes me feel…at home and at peace.
And during this ride, joy came over me for the first time in a long time. And I realized that I still believe in love, I still believe in romance. I am not ready for it now, but one day I will be. I thought for a while that my heart would not heal. That I had lost my faith in men, in love, in romance, in relationships. But I have not.
I found it again, in the sun streaming through the leaves, in the crisp fall air, in the pumpkin patch and in the realization that yes, life is good. And it will get better. And as we walked around the patch, I saw all the happy people with families, snapping pictures, toating their kids in the wheelbarrows with the pumpkins, I felt great. I saaw a part of life that I want, that one day I will have.
But for right now, I am content to cook dinner for friends and family, to write, work on my book, to exercise (have been running this week) and to enjoy moments as they come.