Cleaning Out the Clutter

A celebration happened last night, a celebration of my life, my future, my possibilities.  The world is my oyster, and when I am ready, healed and suited up, it will be waiting for me.  All I have to do is take my time. The world is not going anywhere.

And on my journey of healing, it has become very clear that there is some extra weight.  I had a wonderful conversation about this with a very wise person tonight. Now, more than ever it is more important to clean out the clutter.  All those dead weight people that are just that – dead weight – around my life and healing.  So, with my heart in my throat, I set out to slash the friends lists, contacts and the like. I got rid of everyone who does not bring positive support. I also made certain websites private, so they are only mine, only for me.

Another friend of mine told me a few nights ago, that this is the time for me to be selfish, this is the time for me to take what I need and not to feel guilty about it at all. So I slashed and slashed. And something very unexpected happened…I felt a sense of relief. Relief that these people who are not bringing anything positive to my life, suddenly were no longer. I almost felt giddy. I felt lighter, felt empowered, felt healthy. And in this came a very bold statement:

If you do not bring something positive to my life, you will not be in my life.

Yes, that’s right, I said it. You have to bring something to my life in order to stay. Our relationship must me mutually beneficial. Selfish? I don’t think so. Because the people you have around you influence you, influence your state of mind and your state of being.  You have to surround your self with good positive people who reflect the values you believe in. For me, the people in my life do not have to be rich or powerful, but they do have to be honest, loyal, with a solid family and a solid set of morals and ethics. I look at what my life is now and what and where I want it to be. And if you don’t measure up, then you get slashed baby!

That’s not to say that you have to be perfect, or not have any issues. Lets face it, life gets messy sometimes (just take a look at my life right now). What that does mean is that if a person is not as good a friend to me as I am to them…then they will not be in my life. If that person does not stand beside me when I have stood beside them in the past, then they will not be in my life. because I simply cannot be bothered by fair weathered, loose lipped, gossip loving, drama spreading “friends”. And you know who you are. Shape up or get cut. And frankly I don’t care which one, because I cannot be bothered right now. Right now is my time to be selfish and lean on the friends who love me.

No more being polite because who wants to un-friend someone? No more being politically correct because there are a lot of mutual friends, no more being nice about it. If you don’t measure up, you are getting pushed out. In this new time of my life, this shedding of all that is unneeded, I simply do not have the time or space for dead weight. I simply cannot be bothered by those who do not bring it.

And suddenly it is easier to be breath. Suddenly, the world is opening up. Suddenly, it is easier to smile. And that healing place? It’s a lot closer with the right set of wonderful, positive people surrounding me, supporting me and loving me.


2 thoughts on “Cleaning Out the Clutter

  1. And I say good for you. There are a lot of broken people in the world who want to dump their misery on you. Better to purge them from your life and surround yourself with happy positive people. Kudos to you maam for doing such a great job of healing. It takes courage and self preservation.

    Blessings on you and yours


  2. adalamar

    Thank you John. Not all the people I ma putting out are broken, but they are either not good for me, or not bringing anything to my life. So the have to go!

    Thank you, as always, for your wonderful thoughts and encouragement!

    many Blessings to you!


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