The Sum of Parts

The gentleman I have been seeing for a week or so and I got into quite a debate last night.  Politics.  He’s left, I am right.  This debate started me thinking. I am a big believer in the big picture of a person.  People are complicated and flawed and are more than just the sum of their parts.  In this world of reality TV, plastic is better and intolerance is best, can we really find out who a person is- then like them differences and all?  Yes.

People have always fascinated me…what makes them who they are and why?  I am interested in the whole, not just a part here and there.  Personally I don’t care about another person’s political or religious view.  Let me repeat that – I don’t care.  I am interested in getting to more…more than religion and politics????  Yes.

When you strip us down, take away all the labels of this religion or that political group, that race or tax bracket…you get down to who people REALLY are.  Do they have integrity?  Do they have honor? Are they a hard worker with good ethics?  Are they loyal?  Are they a good friend? Do they have compassion and the ability to feel empathy? Are they passionate about something?

These are what, I think, define us as people.  Unfortunately labels are often times used to separate.  If we looked further beneath the surface, we would find out those labels mean nothing.  Those labels do not define our character. And yet we separate ourselves by those labels everyday.  We are more than the sum of our labels.  But we seem to always look for the label, then define the person’s character from those labels.  Then we sometimes wonder why people who “are  like us” disappoint us or hurt us.  how?  Maybe it is because we cannot be defined by social labels.

In my life, I have never judged by religion, race, political affiliation.  I have friends who are from every walk of life, color, social economic level and more.  They are very different from me and each other. But I don’t want people who are just like me in my life – how boring would that be? The few things they all have in common, without exception? They are honest, have integrity and are loyal hard working people.  And I have rarely been disappointed or hurt by any of them.

When we learn to see past our differences, we will discover not only humanity, but ourselves.  For those who are different have much to teach us.


19 thoughts on “The Sum of Parts

  1. That is big hearted of you. But David Popenoe from the Marriage Project at Rutgers University says for the best chance of staying happily married, you need to be married to someone who shares your religious and political beliefs.

    It also says it in the bible where we are warned not to be “unequally yoked”. It is fine to have friends of all political and relgious persuasions, but when it comes to marriage and that is my business, it pays to have someone who shares your values.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder


    1. adalamar

      Not talking about this gentleman in particular, just about the general concept. And I agree with you…but at the same time, I have oftentimes seen where a person will judge another person’s character because of the label they fall under. Shouldn’t we be judging not by labels but by things like honor, integrity,loyalty? Aren’t those values more important than labels? For instance, I have known people who are very dishonest and lack integrity in all labels of politics and religion. So to me, it seems like those labels are not a true reflection of who or what a person is. You have to dig deeper than the label to find the values…does that make sense? Am I wrong?


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