There seems to be this belief, especially with women, that we must be nice to those, especially men, who have wronged us. We women seem to have this idea that we have to be nice to them, lest they say we are a Bitch – heaven forbid! Why do we have this notion, and more importantly, where is THAT page in the rule book? I don’t remember ever seeing that I must be nice to an ex because if I stand up for myself in the least little bit…I will be labeled a bitch, he will say I am being difficult, acting childish, immature, or whatever.
Lets just take a page out of Sandra Bullock’s rule book shall we? Her dirtbag of a husband cheated on her many times. She simply left. Do you really think this spunky, classy lady cared if her soon to be ex accused her of such silly things because she insisted on not forgiving him and ending their marriage? Nope. She obviously did not care to let herself get sucked into that kind of unnecessary drama. Instead, she came out ahead of everybody by announcing she filed for divorce and has adopted a new baby.
A friend of mine has several ex’s around her who mistreat her. Every time she starts to get a spine and start standing up for herself and tells them ‘no, you can’t treat me that way and no, I don’t want you in my life’…they start pulling out the accusations of her being a difficult childish bitch. And every time, she calms down, apologizes for her behavior (heaven forbid she should make them mad) and lets them continue their behavior in an effort to be the nicer, bigger person. Again, where is THAT page in the rule book? Why doesn’t she simply say to these men are asses and tell them if they have a problem with her attitude, that’s just it – their problem.
Let’s face it; we train people how we want them to treat us. And if we let them treat us badly, they will. But if we actually grow a spine (and this goes for men too) and demand to be treated with dignity and respect, then that is exactly how we will be treated. And those people who give you flack about making these demands? Who cares about them or what they think any way? They will fall by the wayside and you will go farther without them. So don’t be afraid to shed the dead weight that has been holding you back.
So the next time you girls get called a bitch, maybe it’s time to take pride in that name, look them in the eye and say “Yes I am, and you remember that next time you want to tangle with me.” And walk away quickly, with your head held high. Take pride in yourself and how you want to be treated and don’t worry about those who balk at it.
When we take pride in ourselves, our lives and the way we expect to be treated, we walk away from those who are holding us back. And by doing that, we make room in our lives for new positive possibilities.