AdaLamar's Blog

A Sassy Girls Guide to a Life of Wanderlust

10 Reasons to Love Southern Men Over Northern Men

Posted by adalamar on June 9, 2010


I have dated North and South…and hands down southern men are the best.  Here are the top 10 reason psychologists, professors and  sex therapists agree – as stated by them.

10. They have traditional values.
“Family connection is important because that’s the way they were raised. The community isn’t as close in the North,” notes Dr. Gail Rouse, assistant professor of psychology at Clark Atlanta University.

9. They treat women with R-E-S-P-E-C-T. “A man in the South is admired and rewarded for keeping the tradition of treating a woman the `right’ way. Southern men also have a higher respect for their mother, which is noted to determine how any man treats a mate.” says Dr. Diane Plummer, social psychologist and associate professor-chair of the department of psychology at Clark Atlanta University in Atlanta, GA

8. Southern men accept women unconditionally. Ella Patterson, sex therapist, states that “Southern men have a tendency to accept the package as well as all that is a part of that package, which includes a woman’s children, responsibilities, trials and tribulations”

7. Southern men are more courteous than Northern Men.
“They treat a woman the way they would want their mother to be treated. There are values present with Northern men, but they allow society to sway their thinking and values. They get confused with the value system.” says Dr. Diane Plummer.

6. Southern men are more sensitive than their Northern counterparts. “They tend to be more nurturing and accept a woman and the children whom she may bring from a previous relationship. He’ll accept the woman and her family with open arms,” Reveals sex therapist Ella Patterson. “Northern men are perceived as overaggressive, fast-paced, ambitious, insensitive and arrogant.”

5. Southern men believe in working hard to make a relationship work. Dr. Gail Rouse, assistant professor of psychology at Clark Atlanta University says “Southern men are more committed to trying to work on a relationship because its the right thing to do. Northern men believe if the relationship doesn’t work, they can go to another relationship.”

4. Southern men make better fathers.  They teach traditional values to their children. “It goes deeper than cultural and racial aspects. One must look at the person as a whole. Children are products of their environment. If your father puts the family first, you’ll be this way as a husband.” says Dr.  Plummer.

3. Southern Men are more committed partners. “Southern men’s value for relationships makes them more determined and committed toward making a relationship work, which would more than likely make them a better marriage partner,” according to Dr. Gail Rouse

2. They will step up when others don’t.
Dr.  Plummer explains, “Southern men are the gentlemen who are more traditional with values instilled. They are also perceived as hard-working. The family comes first.” (I have seen this myself when a friend was pregnant so several of her Southern Male friends proposed.)

and the Number ! Reason to LOVE Southern men (drum roll Please)

1. Southern men make better husbands!!!!
Dr. Gail Rouse, assistant professor of psychology at Clark Atlanta University,  “Southern men make better marriage partners because they value family.” Ella Patterson adds “There is a high respect for the matriarch of the family down South. They feel that what goes around comes around.”

40 Responses to “10 Reasons to Love Southern Men Over Northern Men”

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  3. Zebra said

    I wish I had seen this 30 years ago! I disagree slightly…..if your prospective husbands father treats his wife like crapp, then more than like your prospective spouse will treat you like crapp.
    I have spent a lot of vacation time in the south, and I do agree that Southern men are much more courteous and well mannered. Ah, maybe in my next life……………..

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  10. Amanda said

    LOl wtf?? planet are you currently living on??? Southern men are nothing more then TRUE FREAKING PIGS!!! wow respectful?? are you serious? they can not even spell the word…you are on some serious crack buddy this article is total BS. Many of my exes were VERY disrespectful, I’m so thankful I gave a northern man a chance with me, SOUTHERN MEN ARE NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM RESPECTFUL……

    • adalamar said

      Amanda, sorry you had such a bad experienc with Southern Men. I have had the opposite experience with them, but have had horrible expereinces with Northern men being rude, shallow and materialistic. I guess pigs come in all shapes, sizes and parts of the country.

      • Christine said

        I think Amanda may have confused respectful with subservient. My experience since living in Wisconsin (for 3 very long years now) is that the men are so beaten down by radical feminism that they can’t be strong without being accused of being domineering and controlling. It’s really a shame. I love traditional relationships and value a man who is a man. I can’t wait to go back home. Amanda’s choice of cap locks tells me she’s an aggressive woman so most likely she wouldn’t appreciate a strong man.

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  12. Caroline said

    I found this article very helpful!:) It seems the northern men here are too tense, aggressive , all or nothing attitude. Relationships are rushed…fast food , fast cars,,fast relationship..then people wonder why it didn’t last..and forget trying to work this out…This article was soo refreshing..hope i meet a true, Southern man with some down home values and manners1:0

  13. SJ said

    I have only dated Jamaican man, and up north guys, I am currently dating a sourthern man and I have to say this is one of the best relationships in have ever been in. He is very caring , family oriented, and I like that he can handle his buisnes, very hardworking. He cooks, cleans, good loving, and makes me laugh everyday. I agree SOUTHERN MEN are great ment!!! :)

  14. The T said

    Oh thank goodness I was born in the great State of Mississippi living 45 minutes from New Orleans in the Delta… I’ve lost my true Southern Drawl yet replaced it with another great state’s accent in the South….Texas… People notice where I’m from even though I left the US mainland 7 years ago…

    One random post to bring me to following you….it’s serendipity…

    T.

  15. Well being a southern gentleman, I am so glad that we finally get some respect for how good we really are.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John

  16. Sorry but I can only think that the question and results are subjective and can have no basis in truth. Because there is always more than one truth to any one thing. Only math and science (not the social sciences with subjective / objective hybrid stats) can begin to reach true objective conclusions. It is ok to believe what you will, but be weary of defining it as fact.

    • adalamar said

      Hey Walter. This post is meant to be fun more than anything else. Though Southern men are raised with certain cultural beliefs, those beliefs can be taught anywhere. There is a difference in the attitudes of people from the north and south, and there are differences in what is socially acceptable. I have met good and bad from both…But do notice that I have a certain…propensity to the southern man. :)

      • Ann I am a product of both . I grew up in Philly and for the last ten years have lived SC near Greenville. Urban big city…one light town. A big contrast. I guess it would be rather confusing attempting to date me ;-)
        And by the way….men get it wrong everywhere. I know I have ;-)

  17. Hi Ann:
    I know this is an older post, but it’s a good one. I think we are often comfortable with our own, what our fathers were like, how they treated our mothers. Being a child of Western (Montana & California) parents,growing up overseas and Northern Virginia, then attending a Southern college and spending my junior year in Paris and another after in Marseilles, then working in DC, I have to say, for me, that Midwestern boys win out over all of them. Of any US regional or European men I dated, (and I went through a LOT of frogs), my first Midwestern boy turned out to be the charm. A breath of fresh air in a toxic DC dating environment, he treated me like an equal, was easy to talk to, funny, emotionally available and so wonderfully kind to his mother, I knew he’d treat me well. I thought this man from Minnesota was a fluke. Then I met his friends from college. All of them dedicated to family, smart without being snobby, gently funny and genuinely good people. So maybe he chose his friends well? Nope. When we moved to Minneapolis 12 years ago, I learned that the Midwestern man prototype, while occasionally a bit too taciturn (depending on the model — if you skew too Scandanavian, for example), is a solid, real MAN on whom you can depend, build a real life with, raise good children. It’s funny – having lived on both coasts I considered the Midwest a vast, white, flyover zone, but I encourage any frustrated single women to figure out a way to get here! :)

    • adalamar said

      Yes I agree with you, most of us are comfortable with our own. And I have heard great things about the Midwestern boys as well, but I am partial to the Southern Gents! Thanks for stopping by and reading. :)

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  19. Donna said

    I have to fiercely disagree with this article. I’m a Georgia-born woman who finds that Southern men tend to be more closed-minded, less intellectually curious and less willing to change their opinions when confronted with opposing evidence. (‘Traditional Values’ maybe?) As I travel more and meet people from other cultures, Southern men seem more shallow, emotionally immature and insincere when compared to men from other parts of the world. Their ‘good manners’, when seen in context of how other men treat women, come across as extremely phony and pretentious to me. Worse yet, they are really never able to really leave their ‘mamas’ in order to develop an independent identity for themselves. What you are celebrating as good qualities, seems to me to be characteristics of men who never really grow into emotionally mature adults. Of course, ALL southern men aren’t the way I describe, but in my experience, many of them are bred to be this way. If you are a woman who wants the status quo of tradition and no change, then southern men might be for you. However, if you intend to be more progressive and open-minded, southern men might not be able to understand you. Good luck!

  20. DixieBoyNoLikeIslam! said

    Shiiiiiiiiiiiiii,this article just makes sit back and disagree quite strongly!First of all we’re rednecks and we think nothing in beating our women on a regular basis(although not as much as muslims!)and we’re crude and ignorant due to our redneck nature!

  21. All ten reasons has a Dr. Somebody signing it off, I want to hear you think with your own mind, and reason with your own heart. Not all southern men are respectful, and not all northern men hate their mother. What if the right man stepped before you, and because he’s not a southern man, you could not see him.
    I wish you happiness in any direction you choose.
    Blessings…

    • adalamar said

      There is good and bad in every part of the country. It is true that the Southern culture stresses more family values where the Northern culture puts more stress on money and success. I have been in both. If the right man was in front of me, it would not matter of he were Southern, Northern, or Midwestern. :)

      Blessings!

      • Martha Thomas said

        Sweetpea, you are truly deluded about cultural differences in the U.S. despite your vast range of experience in this world. I could expound on the negative aspects of Southern culture at length, having lived half my life on either side of the Mason Dixon. But I find that your attitude is ample enough evidence. Then again, I know equally odious people of the North and Midwest too. It’s not where you’re from or what your Mama taught you that matters, its what you do with it when (and if) you grow up.

  22. Interesting subject. I am from the west, Southern California. At the surface all is true. The commitment to hospitality is to a fault here in Dallas. One of the observations I have made though, is that the southern culture is maternally strong here and that the men weren’t real men’s men here. There performance driven based on what women think more than their masculine instincts. I didn’t respect that aspect at first, mind you, I was raised by a Marine, an Athlete, and just a tough strong masculine role model (Not all good).

    I am not sure if men are like that here in the South due to being more committed to being bread winners, or completely or if the maternal influence has become so powerful the men submit to it.

    The observations I made when I moved here 6 years ago, was how maternally strong the culture was here. How the men seemed to be whipped for a pretty girl and were almost not comfortable in there own skin without having that “girl with the golden hair” in there life. They seem to be educationally and professionally driven to get an advantage in that pursuit. So the culture gets a little ruined and material in the middle to upper class because of these vanities. This is my observation in Dallas. It is extremely materialistic. Yet the hospitality is to a fault.
    There isn’t much respect for deep thinking or philosophy here, not as there is in California. The men are measured by their Christian ethics and their ability to make money, the women seem to measure amongst themselves how well they can land a man at the top of his game in these values. Not a lot of room for creative writers, artist, or deep intellects. All just plain straight up hospitable folks. To your point, my manners have improved in the way I mutually respect folks and treat them. I do value that aspect of Southern Culture.

    Yet, after 6 years, I still don’t fit like I did in California. My thinking is often too complex for the simple approach to life, large homes, pretty wives, and all that hospitality for the final frosting on the cake.

  23. jengeorge7 said

    Southern Men are more traditional in all family and relationship attributes in comparison to Northerners, particularly New York Men, at least in my experience and I’m born, bred and dated many here in the North East. There is no comparison with the overall Southern based population of men and the way they are raised regarding marriage, family, children, giving, Godliness and the way women are treated and respected in the value system. The South wins hands down on this one, at least in my opinion. The accent really is a big plus in it all, right?

  24. This sounds like a fairly extreme generalization — What exactly is sought?

    Thank you for reading our scribblings

    - Misera e stupenda ciità

  25. Wow! Some great reasons why a man is good, but way overgeneralizing! Lumping people into categories is always inaccurate. Good traits for good men though! :)

  26. jeb610 said

    Thank you for a great read and a fun post. As a Southern man, let me also add there is nothing like a Southern woman.

    I have lived in the Midwest, West Coast and the Northeast and the differences you point out in your post are very true.

    I have now nailed my feet into this precious red dirt and will never leave.

  27. hi there. I think what some people arent getting is this isnt a personal attack against their men or way of upbringing. Of course there is always and exption, but the stigma doee and always has been a strong force in the south. Its not just about our mamas, Its a code of ethics, principle, and while some people may think this a weak character trait, Pride with a capitol P. I am a very proud southen man from Lugoff, SC. I have served in the U.S Army for the last 13 years. I have seen my country and i have seen many others. Women in Germany have even heard of southern charm, generosity, and hospitality. For something so simple to stretch beyond out borders and across oceans is no small feat. I love the fact that women always ask me where im from and that they love my accent. I love that when i read this blog i wasnt trying to twist myself into believing what I read. I actually related to it 100%. I currently live in WA and for the last nine months I have chatted with this beautiful girl that works in my gym. Never pushy, never flirtatious. I have been smitten by her since day one but have never showed it that i could tell. last week she walked up to me and told me that she loves the fact I live to make my mama proud ( may she rest in peace) and loves the fact that i always say hello to everyone i walk past. Turns out she has liked me since day one as well. were going bowling on sunday and i owe it all to my southern ways. No, not all southern men have the traits spoken of in this blog but as a whole, most do. sorry for bogarting the blog with such a long comment. I was just letting my southern pride get in the way. lol

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